If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Randomize
