you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
