His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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