I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
