I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
MIDGETS
????
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
