1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
