I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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