My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
