i wish starbucks made bloody marys
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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