Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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