Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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