he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
