I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
