You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I just want to make out with him forever
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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