So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
