She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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