i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
