don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
