but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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