Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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