I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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