Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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