Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
