I must be too annoying 4 u.
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
You ruined the universe
Randomize
