dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
