Non-Jews are for practice
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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