So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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