no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
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