It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I showed him my bush... on skype.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
