I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
