i just wanna soil my oats bro
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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