No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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