i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
