When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
