I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
