Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
