we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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