hell yes lets make some ravioli
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
