I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
