She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
