Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
