smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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