After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
