PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
