Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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