Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
no you cant smoke seaweed
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize