So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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