I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
