Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
