this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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