batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
