She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
