If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
