I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
