and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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