More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
you made out with another girl for some wings
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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