If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
