Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
