This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
