i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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