I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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