I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
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