flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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