Apparently you make a good broom.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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