He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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