I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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